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Dane Cook

Growing up against my will.


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In the last 10+ years living in my home I’ve built up an arsenal of unique asthetics both inside & out. Today we talk exterior. I guarantee no one else in this region of the world has as many eclectic botanical items canoodling alongside each other (except for my friends at @RollingGreens who’ve helped create this oxygen enriched atmosphere). So here we go. The planet of plants on the property of mi casa. 1 Australian Queen Palm Tree or Syagrus romanzoffiana 1 California Coast Live Oak Tree or Quercus Agrifolia 1 Kalanchoe Baharensis 2 Red Cardinal Philodendrons 3 Aloe Bainesii 6 Euphorbia Ingens (cacti-esque) 8 Orchids (Moth) 19 Succulents 33 Ficus Nitida 400+ Timber Bamboo Stems There you have it squad. 🌵 🌳 🌱

Arlington, Massachusetts

Found a few pix of a young me. Top picture got be popping out the blades. That collar is looks like a vampires teeth. Sharptastic. I also look like the little kid in every video game ever. The one who gets lost and you have to guide me through jungles filled with chomping mud sharks and swing me across collapsing chandlers. Lower left pic somehow looks like a mug shot of a dude who they caught running down a highway away from a carjacking. You can see my dog bite scar glowing through in that one. The lower right — I mean let’s face it if there was a most beautiful boy in the whole wide world contest just gimme the plastic trophy!! to when life was ahead of ya and nothing was so bad that a cupcake couldn’t make it all bet bet.

I’ve got over 200 scars across my . 80+ through my head from a vicious dog attack when I was 4 (zoom in you can see the scars run across the top of my forehead). He ripped my head up pretty good but that was only the beginning. A year later the scar on my left eyebrow - a result of a wrestling match I got into with a metal bed frame with no mattress or box spring on it. Almost lost that eye too from the damage around it from getting it dislodged. Nasty . Of course cystic acne pounced on me at 15 years old and if the / introvert I was dealing with wasn’t enough the acne made me a recluse. Scars from not treating properly gave me what my agents today lovingly call my rugged look - I’ve never tried to laser my face off or anything to “fix” my skin. Everything I’ve accomplished was with this face and although not perfect I don’t give a because I’m not perfect inside either so it all goes together. Huge es on my stomach from getting impaled on a tree branch at 16 had me hanging from my rib cage. Lotsa pretty stitches. Skateboarding down a road paved with rocks smartly destroyed my knees. I also built a go cart that dissembled itself whilst I was riding it full speed down the steepest road in my neighborhood. Shredded the Lee jeans right off my and cut me up something special. Oddly I’ve never broken arms or but have had more near misses than you would believe. My doctor said if I wasn’t so limber (my patella tendon is ing af and can limbo me to the floor) I’d be “doomed.” Car crashes, motorcycle mishaps, onstage stunt man level abuse — I’ve pushed myself to the limit. My heart is a kid. My ability to play to endure to dream and create keep me feeling like I can do it all over again. That’s why I’m 30 years into a career and yes I’ve had ups and downs. Been told no way over and over while I made it a yes way. Popular, outcast, influencer, old news — I’ve heard it all.. some of it in my first year doing this profession. You know what I’ve never heard? You didn’t try.

Laugh Factory

Late night at @laughfactoryhw with the ORIGINALS.

Here’s a delightful to the moment that changed my career, life and tax bracket. Retaliation was released and went double platinum, Saturday Night Live came a calling, @TheGarden (MSG & Boston) was selling out, @Time Magazine shared my influentialness. @rollingstone put me on the cover — everything changed because of one simple switch I flipped 2 years earlier. I decided to only take information and apply it to my tenacious focus and anything remotely unfavorable to pursuing my goals was gone. I surrounded myself with a complete notion of success. I wasn’t about to compromise and if I wanted something I didn’t wait for the universe to cooperate as much as I made the universe coordinate with my plans. A career has many moments of rehabilitation and progression. Something can be rebooted or cast aside when the time comes. Labels can change. Beliefs can adapt. Fears overcome. Prejudice relinquished with the self awareness to admit shortcomings and embrace others unique strengths. Fuck quitting. Fuck the noise. I’ve literally had everything said and thrown at me. For every great credit I’ve listed I’ve had heads try to take my thunder. All that does is sap energy from them and invites unrest. I welcome it all because it’s fun as to wake up daily and create. I get to make my ideas reality year after year. You don’t have to have everyone like or love what you do. You can have anything you want if you just champion yourself. Go for it. What have you got to lose except time that would have been wasted doing what you loathe.

Dublin, Ireland

I just discovered this pic recently. I took my pops to Ireland. I was doing a show there with @DenisLeary & Patrice O’Neal. My dads dream was to play golf in the “old country.” We did just that. I miss ya George. I wish we had more time together. Life goes by so fast and for some faster than it should.


Even on my vaca I’ve gotta direct something. I got this shot in one just before a tidal wave of goodwill washed over me, cascading me into torrent of delightful new memories. Ahhh.. friggin mahalo for life.

Caption this @AlwaysChopper pic!

Runyon Canyon Park

Got amazing news today that’s got me floating on air. You never know in a career what exciting venture is around the bend or over the next hill. Thank you to everyone who has ever loved & believed in me. Aw it thank you to everyone who has ever hated & rooted against me too. We all have goals.

Two sets last night: @thecomedystore - one of my fav shows I’ve done there all year at this legendary location. @laughfactoryhw - dedicated to my fan David G who has fought through a lot of personal to come laugh with us. Proud of him. The Laugh Factory is easily one of the best clubs of all time. Thx @lizvig for using your time capturing device to take this photograph.

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